Photo Shoot Peril!!

Well...as a few of you may know, I've gotten myself into a little situation. Somehow along the way, I have become a tad bit anal about our holiday card. And when I say a tad bit anal, I actually mean, I want that sucker stamped and in the mail by December 1st. Not December 2nd or 3rd, but December 1st. NO excuses and NO exceptions. : )
Unfortunately for my family, this Christmas card obsession means that November is not just the 11th month in the year. It is not just the time of thanks. It is not just moments of turkey trots and big ol' meals. It IS the season of the photo shoot!!
We usually do the professional photographer thing so there has been little to no stress in meeting my deadline...however, this year I figured why not be a 'do it yourself-er'? Why not? I'll tell you why not...
I had decided that Saturday was the day. The coordinating outfits had arrived. The mosquito's had finally relaxed a bit. Sure...Jack had a slight runny nose which had somehow turned the space between his nose and upper lip an almost neon red. And of course, Kate had rammed her head into our bed and now had a full on black eye. And yes, Bear had caused many a dark circle with his random and insanely loud nighttime outbursts as of late. All of that meant nothing, I had cover up and I was on a mission.
After scouting out the backyard, we decided that the boat dock was going to be the money shot. We did everything right. We took lighting and angle into account. We waited for the slow as molasses boat to move out of the background. We arranged our little party of five just right and set the automatic timer. Ready? Set? Cheese!
Done deal. My early bird reputation is upheld and everyone is happy. Right? Right.
Well, not exactly. Somehow we had forgotten to take into account our subjects. Specifically our 3 year old. He would not...could not...look at the camera. And if by somehow, he did look at the camera then his little sister would not...could not...look at the camera. And if somehow she did look at the camera then her oldest brother would take it upon himself to give her a death grip hug. And just in case you were wondering, she is not a fan of death grip hugs.
So it went. Jason would set the self timer, rush to his spot, we'd take the picture, he'd jump up to check, I'd search his face hopefully, and then he would slowly but surely shake his head in defeat.
Throughout the whole ordeal, I remained optimistic. I knew that we only needed one. JUST ONE! So I pushed on...through take after take. Promises were made and bribes were handed out like candy. When the rest of the family wavered, I remained steadfast.
That is until...during one of our "breaks" Jack began to explore a bit. Next thing I know, I am watching my first born slide down the 5 foot embankment into the murky waters below. I remember screaming "Jason! Jason! Jason!" at the top of my lungs as I watched in horror. I remember feeling paralyzed to move. Upon review, I logically chalked my paralysis up to fear and the fact that I must have been holding Kate at the critical time of rescue. Unfortunately for me, Jason quickly burst that bubble by informing me that no, he was the one holding Kate as he plucked Jack out of the water. Oops. I will say that I did an excellent job at sounding the alarm which let's be honest, is the only reason the whole dang rescue was set into motion in the first place. But I digress. : )
Thankfully, Jack landed in only about a foot of water so besides a couple of scratches and some very wet shoes...no real harm was done. No harm you say? No real harm means the photo shoot can continue, right? Right. I figured all we needed to do is cut the bottom of his pants out of the picture and no one would ever guess that we had just had "a situation". I mean, after all, we just needed ONE.
Despite the steady increase in grumbles, we tried it a couple of more times but alas...the perfect picture was not to be. It was time to accept defeat and call it a day. I began to gather things up and Jason took it upon himself to return the neighbor's long board to its' rightful place on the dock. The next thing I knew, there was a huge and ginormous splash! Surprised, I look up to see Jason up to his neck in creek water! What in the world?!? Well, turns out Jason took one step too many and off the end of the dock he went!!!
I mean, really, how can I work in these conditions!?! : )