Fender Benders!

1. Just because you think you already look pretty decent in your new black shirt, doesn't mean your new baby girl won't decide it would look better with some lovely spit up all down the back. And the kicker is she probably won't tell you about the new accessory until after you leave the house.
2. If you have 3 children under the age of 5, be prepared to possibly spend up to 30 minutes in the car/garage before you actually leave the house. And then be prepared to possibly stop the car up to 2 times before you actually leave the neighborhood.
3. Just because your husband authorizes a post-baby shopping spree, doesn't mean you should actually take him up on it right then and there. The ridiculous amount of breast milk that you may or may not leave on the dressing room floor can really dampen your festive mood...literally.
4. Diapers have many functions. I'll just leave it at that.
5. It seems a little pointless to spend the morning organizing the closets when halfway through your 4 year old tells you that your 2 year old has just lovingly blessed the bedroom floor with a golf ball sized turd.
6. Pretend hamster + a 4 yr olds' hair = terror and panic
7. If you put your 2 year old to bed and happen to pass by the door a few minutes later, don't be surprised to hear him mumbling furiously "bad mommy" over and over again.
8. If your 4 year old likes to go commando, his pants have a tendency to be big, and he only needs elevator music to bust a move...don't be shocked to see his bare bottom AND full frontal completely exposed on a routine trip to Oshmans.
9. If you take a 2 year old to buy new shoes, be prepared to possibly leave the store with him completely hysterical and BAREFOOT.
10. There is a strong possibility that you might have bitten off more than you can chew, if you have absolutely no idea that there is a hot dog bun, a cracker, and a small penguin on the hood of your car until it is way too late. : )
11. In case you were wondering...it's not such a great idea to send your son to school with two left shoes.