Jack's First Day!

So Jack might have had his first day of "school" today, but I am the one who learned a new word...ENMESHED! I have joked to Jason that my little sidekick and I were a bit enmeshed before, but after today I really can't deny it. I reluctantly signed Jack up for one day a week of "Mother's Day Out" at my mom's church for this fall. I knew it would probably be good for the little mama's boy and I felt better about it because Gigi would be right there and could check on him throughout the day. Plus, I was hoping he might get a little special treatment since he is the grandson of the church accountant. : ) We have built up going to school to Jack for months now and he has been very excited to play "trucks" and "choo-choos." I, on the other hand, was a bit nervous because I got pretty upset after his orientation a few weeks ago. I blame some of my tears on crazy hormones, but there are also some very real fears behind it all as well. It is very hard to give up the control of having the little monster in my sights most hours of the day. No matter how unrealistic, I want to protect him from all things mean or bad in this world so how in my right mind could I send him to a strange place where complete strangers are supposed to care for him?? I mean how can I just leave him with people who don't know how he likes to be covered up with his gigantic car pillow at nap time or how he likes to have a cracker or cookie for each hand or how his favorite color is orange or how his favorite song is "You are My Sunshine." Granted I wrote all of these idiosyncrasies down for the teachers, but how can I be sure that they actually read it? I mean seriously. : ) Despite all of my uncertainties, I was feeling pretty strong about conquering this inevitable milestone when we set out this morning. We had done all of the necessary preparations the night before...his outfit was layed out, lunch was made and cooling in the fridge, extra outfits packed, diapers labeled, family picture picked out, etc. We got to the church right on time and were met by Gigi. We took Jack to his class and did our best to try to get him interested in something before saying our goodbyes. This is about the time I realized this whole set up was not going to go well for me at least. As we started to leave, I found myself yelling over my shoulder "His favorite color is orange!" As we made it out to the hallway, I began to hear his cries for mommy and I could no longer hold in my own waterworks. Much to my dismay, several teachers happened to be walking by and stopped to console me as I sobbed "I am too pregnant for this!" I was finally able to regain my composure once I could no longer hear Jack's cries of abandonment and with Gigi's promise to check on him every fifteen minutes. I left the building bleary eyed and drove to Bed, Bath, and Beyond where I wandered around for an hour and a half, with an extremely red nose and puffy eyes, looking for the perfect towels. It seemed like forever until it was time to pick him up, but once I looked him over from head to toe and decided he didn't seem too emotionally traumatized...I figured we would probably give it another go next week. Then again, I also heard there is a virus going around so we might need to stay home just to be safe. : )