Here are a few things I've learned (mostly the hard way) over the last couple of months...
1. I am definitely as uncoordinated as I always assumed...pushing Jack on the swing while I wiggle Hayes in the stroller requires a ridiculous amount of concentration.
2. Do not change your newborns diaper while wearing a white button down shirt...poop can travel farther than you think.
3. It is possible to be completely exhausted after only being awake for thirty minutes.
4. When you plan a "bonding "trip to the grocery store with your attention deprived eldest child, it works better when you remember your wallet. That way you can actually pay for the chocolate doughnuts you have been talking about all morning.
5. If it looks like poop on your knuckle, it probably is.
6. If one errand with both kiddos goes well, it is better to quit while you are ahead. If not, you may find yourself looking a little psychotic as you struggle to get one baby in the Baby Bjoern while threatening your other child with not another sucker for the rest of his life.
7. It is possible to have two kids who cannot stand to be in their car seat. But on a positive note, your arm is longer than you think and you really can drive while holding a pacifier in his mouth.
8. If a day of errands begins with one baby screaming bloody murder because he is hungry, one toddler screaming because his eyelashes have folded in on his eyeball, and Gigi cursing at the stroller because it won't fit in the rental car then it is better to go ahead and call it a day.
9. As soon as you think you've got it under control then you are asking for trouble.
10. A two year old can definitely smell desperation.
11. It might not be pretty but it is possible to wash, wrap in foil, and then mash a baked potato with only one hand.
12. Sometimes it is better to not look in the mirror.
13. Even when a bubble bath abruptly ends after five minutes...you still smell good.
14. You should always wear underwear because you never know when squatting down to pick up your son's car will cause your pre-pregnancy pants (that you've squeezed yourself into) to split wide open.
* I had already finished this post, but had to add this last one because it happened to me at Target this morning. It was awesome...
7 comments:
I loved #8! So did you call it a day? Your so funny Ash. I guess I better write all these down now for when it's my turn.
My favorite is number 5. Ha! I've been there! This does not make me more confident about having another baby. I don't know how you do it...you're my hero!
Now this is classic!
I have 7 weeks to go and I'm completely freaked out!!!! Thank you for being so honest! I still think the boys are lucky to have you as their mommy. You're so much fun!
This is great...good lessons for any mom!
We're in tears of laughter. Love you, Francesca, Rachel and Nonna Carla
Too funny, should be published in "Parent's Magazine". When you get finished having babies (when is that going to be again)- maybe a stand-up comedy routine!! I'll be your agent...I enjoyed being there for many of the numbers!!!
Love,
Gi
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